How to help a friend who lost a job

When a friend says they had lost a job…

Our response may be like “that is not a good job, anyway!” — this hurts more. A better response can be “That sounds sad.”

Devaluing (downplaying) the lost things such as a job, relationship or a favorite thing to our friends as a consolation hurts more. We want validation of the feelings of hurt.

Here is what is needed:

• Listen — Simply sit back and listen what they have to say.
• Validate their feelings — Let them solve their problems, this way you build confidence. and acknowledge life context appropriate disappointments. But saying something like “She wasn’t right for you anyway” after a romantic disappointment can feel dismissive. Instead “that sound difficult.”
• Take them seriously — Friends want to be taken seriously. Let them take the game.
• Be thoughtful of their independence — It is difficult to convince our friends to make a specific choice. Our pursuance needs to be more reasonable.
• Be observant — Take note if there are drastic changes in their mood, or general outlook. Did they stop wanting to do things like that used to make them happy. Self sabotage is real — when needed be with them.